July 10th was Charlotte’s 4th birthday. I feel horrible that I wasn’t there for her. And I feel even worse about something that is entirely beyond my control - she doesn’t know us and we are not even a blip on her radar. A lot of people have asked if they are preparing her for the idea of adoption or if she knows about us. The reality is we don’t know. Every orphanage has its own way of dealing with the concept and whether they have told her and whether she even understands is unknown. Once we get through a few more steps we will be sending her a care package with a photo album of us, so at the very least she'll see our faces!
The biggest thing that's been on my mind lately has to be what our Family Day will be like. The day we sit nervous in a room, waiting for them to bring Charlotte around the corner. My heart feels all the feels. We will be so excited to have her it will be hard not to jump up and down, squeeze her, and kiss her. But we have to hold back. Those hugs and kisses are not ours to claim, but hers to give. She will be quiet - or screaming. Her eyes will have so much fear - which will turn to terror and grief. We have been dreaming of her for what feels like forever, but we are strangers. Not just strangers, but STRANGE. Our skin color, our faces, our clothes, our smells, our language. Everything will be new and scary for her. She is going to be ripped from the only life she has ever known. The people that care for her and that are there everyday when she wakes up won't be there anymore. Her friends and routine are gone. I can't tell you the heartache I have when I think of the pain I know she will have to go through to be a part of our family. This little girl will be so strong. Stronger than you or I. She is a survivor. In the next few months I'm going to post more about the grieving process and how we are going to be going through a cocooning phase when home to help adjustment and bonding.
But we are getting closer to bringing our Charlotte home! All our dossier paperwork left our agency a few weeks ago to make the trek to DC, where it was authenticated, then traveled to the Chinese Embassy, were it was again given a stamp of approval. Our agency has our paperwork and we should be DTC (Dossier to China) any day! One more milestone passed, a bazillion more to go, but we can see the light at the end of the tunnel. It’s a big sigh of relief to say buh-bye to the Dossier – I am so over that craziness!
Once we are DTC we have to wait until we are officially logged into the system (LID), which can take a week or two (or three…). Then we will be officially applying to adopt Charlotte and get our LOA. If you remember right now we have PA (Pre-Approval) but this will make it official! Then we get to start the paperwork involved with bring her home! Of course, this itself involves numerous forms, visas, etc. The image I included here is an edited version of a timeline that a lot of adoptive families have used to describe the process. An adoptive dad go a hold of it and with a little editing made a more realistic one - complete with grumpy mom moments! Lord knows I've had those!
We are almost on step 18! We will let you all know when we are DTC! Come on DTC!!!!
Meanwhile, we have ONE MORE DAY in our LULAROE FUNDRAISER SALE!!!! So many wonderful clothes for sale, check out the link on the Fundraisers page!
God Bless!
Theresa