John graduated last May with honors! It was a great day and I couldn’t have been prouder. We had a party a week or so after to celebrate with family and friends. The kids had bubbles and chalk, the adults played cornhole and everyone ate…a lot – it was a good time all around. Most of our family hadn’t seen our house yet so it was nice to show everyone our work in progress. John and I had spent a day landscaping the front yard earlier that week. It may not be perfect, but it looks a ton better than it did. I would love to see the side yard and backyard get the same treatment, but right now all the money is getting siphoned off to the adoption. It’ll get done, just not as quickly as we would like it to be.
It’s been a long four years while John has been at school. And IT’S OVER!!!! No more long nights of studying, no more hours in front of the computer, no more study sessions….I’m just a little happy about that.
On the adoption front the home study is 100% officially and completely DONE! We thought we were done a while ago (months ago, in fact), but every week or so we were getting emails and calls saying we were missing something. Yes, it did take longer than usual and longer than expected to get this far. Some of the forms were harder than it should have to been to get. We also had a quite a bit of trouble getting follow-up by the right people…but that was taken care of and we are all back on track.
Last time I blogged was before our spring yard sale and I haven’t had a chance to tell everyone how it went. The turnout was beyond awesome and when we counted our cash box at the end of the weekend I almost cried. Right before this we were trying to figure out how we were going to pay for our Psychological Evaluation (requirement for Colombia), which was going to run us $1200 - $1200 that we weren’t planning on. When I counted up all the bills and change we made a little over $1100!!!! That is what we call providence, my friends! God was truly looking out for us. Words can’t begin to describe how shocked and overjoyed I was after that weekend. Thank you, thank you, to everyone who gave us a hand, either by coming by, letting us sell your junk, or through your continued prayers. You cannot know how much it means to us.
So with that money in hand we begin our Psychological Evaluation. Our doctor was up in the Cleveland area, so John and I took the same day off work, crawled into the car at a wee hour of the morning, and headed up north. When we got there we sat down with the psychiatrist’s assistant and answered questions – pretty much detailing our life stories. After that we sat down in the waiting room…and waited…and waited. When they finally called our names we went back to sit with Dr. K while she reviewed the information we had just given her assistant. She said we would have to come back for a second visit to complete all the tests that Colombia is requiring for adoption.
We opted to take one of the tests that day and get it over with. It was over 380 bubble questions. They ranged from the harmless, “do you like going to parties?” to “do you feel like killing yourself?” It was weird, awkward, and stressful. At first you think it’s no sweat and just start writing what you feel. Then you stop and think… ‘I said I don’t like parties…but I like parties with friends and family, I just don’t like big parties where I don’t know anyone…maybe they’ll think that I’m anti-social…am I anti-social?....I like people…maybe I should change that…but they’ll see I changed that….crap.’ And this was the thought process on almost every question. Both our brains were fried after that.
The second time we went we had another bubble test, not as bad as the first, but still took a while. Then we sat down with Dr. K separately where she talked to us more about some of the more painful parts of our past, namely the loss of our children (specifically Micah). We must have said something right because after John came back from his one-on-one with her (I had gone first), he said she told him that she wishes she could bottle up what we have with each other. At this point I started to breath a little easier. That is, until she said that we had to have a third visit. I was ready to be done.
So again we drove up to Cleveland for a final meeting. Due to a mix up on their part, we ended up there for a 9am appointment…which they said was at 12pm. We putzed around until then. Saw a really creepy mall. Then we found an awesome second hand movie/dvd store.
At the appointment we were each taken into the room separately to do two more tests. In the first, we were shown images, basic shapes made of dots and lines, which we had to draw on another piece of paper. The second (and if anyone reading this goes through this process, it’s sure to be one of the most memorable parts!) is what I guess you could call a picture test? They show us several images and we have to create a story about that image. For example, there is a man, looking particularly evil, standing over graves in a graveyard. The evaluator places this picture in front of you, stares at you and says “tell me about this picture.” You then have to create an entire story behind that picture. What I wanted to say was, “that creepy guy is looking for graves to rob…to build FRANKENSTEIN!!” But for my future children’s sake, I instead went on about how this man lost a loved one and goes there everyday because he misses them. “Tell me more,” they say, without breaking eye contact. So I went on and on about how this story has a happy ending – the man learns through his grief and then goes to share that knowledge with the world. Needless to say, I was more than relieved when the last picture was done.
Our psych eval is now complete and with our adoption agency. One adventure down. After the last appointment we were able to meet up with another young couple that are adopting through the same agency and through Colombia as well. Our social worker had gotten us in contact and they were kind enough to invite us over to their house for dinner that night. It was so nice to sit and talk with a couple that knew exactly what we are going through – down to the exact people and challenges we have had to deal with. And the fondue was great! J I’m not going to mention them by name as I didn’t ask them if they would mind, but I had to say something as it has been a great relief to meet people that share in this process – we are not alone!! It’ll be great to stay in contact with them throughout this journey, and who knows, we may end up in Colombia at the same time!
We have had several other exciting moments in the last few weeks, but I don’t want to bore everyone who's read this far! John is still waiting on a call back for a few jobs, which we should hear back from soon. Oh, and my car blew up this week. There was no saving it so we had to buy a new car. Thank goodness you can dip into 401Ks, right?
Right now we are getting through the paper work for the Dossier (all the items going to Colombia). John and I took a day this past week and attacked the list of items we needed. We are now down to just a few more which should take another month or so to complete. If everything goes as planned (let’s be realistic, it never has yet) we should be done with all the paperwork by September. At that point we will need to write a couple more big checks and wait for notice of approval from Colombia. Once we get that notice (which should hopefully only take 4-6 weeks) we will be officially on the waiting list.
Financially speaking, I’m starting to look at Grant and Loan options to get us through the next set of payments. We had all our ducks in a row to make it through, but with the untimely death of my Dodge we are notching the belt back a few more holes. We also are going to try and see if there are any other couples going through adoption in the immediate area to connect with and maybe do a big fundraiser that we can all split the proceeds of.
I wish I had more exciting news for everyone, but this process is a long one, and it’s going to take a lot of patience to get through the whole thing with our sanity intact. If it helps I’m getting excited again!! It comes and goes (sometimes it feels like it’ll be forever before we have the kids home), but right now, as I wipe the dry erase board marking item after item done, I feel like everything that has happened has been pointing us in the right direction at the right time. And when we are ready our children will be ready too.
Thanks for sticking with us!
Theresa