It’s a big secret, but a small one. I mean, she’s only 3 ½ years old….
So many questions you probably have! Let me answer a few by rewinding a few weeks….strike that…a few months….
Like most adoptive mommas, I hungrily hound the advocacy sites for children that are up for adoption, wishing it was our time. I watch videos, look at pictures, cry, then usually dive into some ice cream. I share this love/hate relationship with my daughter, who is more than happy to look at the pictures of all the babies. One day in December our agency posted a video of a Special Focus child and she was so precious. Ella and I watched her little video clip about a dozen times. That night I prayed that she would find her family. Then knowing there wasn’t anything else I could do, quite honestly, I forgot about her.
On the evening of February 17th we received a late night phone call from our case worker at the agency. What she said surprised us. A little background information for you - for China’s orphans there is a large database known commonly as the ‘Shared List’ from which families can be matched with a child based on their approved parameters. Sometimes an agency decides to advocate for a specific child off the list and they are assigned her for a number of weeks and they become a ‘Special Focus’ child for them. C, as we’ll call her right now, was just such a child. Our agency had already been advocating for her for a number of weeks and her time with them was just about up, meaning she would go back with the thousands of other children onto the Shared List. Knowing we were getting close to the big 3-0 for me, our case worker called asking if we wanted to review her file. We were excited, terrified, and nervous. It was like someone just shot about three espressos worth of caffeine straight into my veins. Here’s the gut-punch: we only had until the evening of the 19th to make a decision.
For the next day we talked. Cried. Talked again. Prayed. Contacted everyone we could to get a medical review of her file so we could make an informed decision. If we decided not to move forward with her it wouldn’t change anything, we would still be on the same track to get matched later this year. And we would have a strong possibility of getting matched with a younger child, under a year. But it became clear through the next day that there really wasn’t any question. Every time I saw her smile it was like someone hooked a 20lb weight onto my heart and all I wanted to do was hold her close. It’s not any surprise by now what we did – we didn’t even wait until the deadline and called our case worker the evening of the 18th.
Yes. YES. WE ARE GOING TO HAVE ANOTHER DAUGHTER!!!!!
Her smile is heart melting and mine is a puddle because of her. We immediately had to sit and write our Letter of Intent to adopt (LOI) and it was translated and submitted to the CCCWA (China Center for Children’s Welfare and Adoption). We spent the next week biting our nails down to the skin in nerve wracking anticipation. Then, on February 25th, we received confirmation…
We have officially been pre-approved for the most beautiful big sister for Ella!
She is 3.5 years old and her birthday is in July. She lives in Chengdu (home of the giant pandas, yeah, that’s pretty awesome). We cannot reveal her Chinese name yet until we have all our paperwork over to CCCWA and get the official, 100% stamp of approval. Right now we are pre-approved, meaning barring anything crazy disqualifying us from adopting, she is ours. I am getting giddy just thinking about it. As we are incorporating her Chinese name into her middle name we will not be sharing that with everyone here just yet, but we plan on naming her Charlotte. Charlotte. My daughter Charlotte. How perfect does that sound? My cup is so full right now!
Charlotte does have a special need, a heart condition, which will take a lot of TLC and a few smarty pants doctors. We’ve already lined up an international adoption pediatric specialist for when she comes home and will be getting her in to see the cardiologist folks over at UPMC Children’s. Her condition doesn’t seem to be affecting her daily life at this time, but will almost certainly require some surgeries in the future. Which breaks this momma’s heart just thinking about it, so let’s move on.
Ella already loves her sister. That’s what she calls her “Sister.” “Watch Sister,” she asks every morning, pointing to my phone. I really don’t put up any fight and we curl up on the couch to watch the one minute video clip at least five times. When Charlotte waves bye at the end so does Ella. Of course she doesn’t fully understand, but in time and as we move closer it will become more real. I have several little plans to help her, such as making sure Charlotte’s bed is ready a few months before she comes home and putting her picture on it, maybe even putting a picture up at the table during our meals. At her age understanding is all about the tangible. But I know she will be great – and hopefully not scare the crap out of Charlotte with her wild woman ways.
As far as details regarding her history – how she was orphaned, etc. – please do not ask. Both John and I feel that this is part of Charlotte’s story and it’s her choice to share details as she gets older. It’s not a big story or mystery, so don’t let it eat at you. But it is hers. I will say that from what we know already I am confident in saying her first mommy cared for her and did the best she could. I pray to God that He blesses her heart – that she feels some peace and somehow knows that her precious girl will be given a home and loved more than life. I am and will always be grateful to that woman who loved, cared, nursed, and cried over my Charlotte. We will never know each other, but we will always be connected – by that invisible red thread.
Our next step is getting through the paperwork. As of last week our home study has been updated and we have filled out our I800A Supplement 3 form, which could take several weeks to process. Meanwhile, we are gathering the necessary dossier documents and getting them in order. The plan is still the same – get everything to our case worker so our agency can get our dossier over to China on my birthday. From there we will wait to get LID (Logged in Dossier) which could be a few days to a few weeks. After we are logged in we will formally request to adopt Charlotte. That wait could be anywhere from a month to two months (please God, not more than two months!). All these timings depend on how slow/fast the Chinese government is working, so there are a lot of variables. Once we hear back from them and get our LOA (Letter of Action) then the real fun starts! We’ll rush to submit a form….then wait…then submit another form…then wait….around this time we should have a fair idea of when we will travel at (though like I said, a lot of variables). God willing, we will all be home for Christmas.
I know I’m using a lot of acronyms but thems the breaks when you’re in the adoption world! To help out anyone that is curious here is a link to a site that lays them all out. http://waitingchildinfo.com/acronyms-steps-and-timeline/
I’ll also see if I’m smart enough to put something up on the website in the blog margins. I wouldn’t place any bets. There is more to share but I’ll save that for another post soon. I’ll just leave ya’ll to revel in how crazy, stupendous, prayer answering, amazing this all is. God is so good and He knows our hearts even when we don’t!
We are well over the moon for our new little. Sorry to end on a downer but no pictures yet! We’ll be able to share some online (hopefully) by June. Until then you are just going to have to find excuses to bump into us so we can show off her gorgeousness in person.**
**This doesn’t mean invite yourself over to our house. Unless you bring cookies.
I hope everyone has a blessed Easter!
Theresa (and John, and Ella)